Uggs, The Rain Boots, Sambas, and the Human Condition

I have two sisters. And a mom. And some goldfish which might be female but could be asexual. What I'm trying to say is, I've had a fair amount of exposure to the fashions and interests of woman-dom.

That being said, there are some aspects that I don't understand, some that I don't ever wish to understand, and some that I need help with.

One that falls under category number three is...well, actually two things: UGGS and neon rain boots. We'll dissect them in order.

1) Uggs-

Uggs are kind of like Barack Obama: one day, no one had ever heard of them, and the next day, they're literally everywhere you look. Let's take the analogy further. Barack Obama's approval ratings have recently fallen, and so have my approval ratings of UGGS. Irrelevant, moving on......

Growing up in greater white Memphis suburbia, Uggs converged on my private school bubble like they were the eleventh plague. "And God decided to punish Egypt (get it? Memphis is a city in Egypt? no? okay just work with me) one more time by sending leather and suede boots that cover half of the leg and can't be THAT comfortable to every trendy online shopping website imaginable."

I feel like the Ugg phenomenon is a deeper issue...It might even be able to explain the human condition. Because here's the thing: You can't tell me that the utility value of Uggs (warmth, durability, etc.) is the reason they're so popular. You also can't tell me they look good. So, why do people wear them? The most common response is "They're SO comfortable, Jordan. I swear." To which I think: It would be really comfortable for me to make my pillows into shoes and walk around all day, but I don't...I have questions and I have hunches but I have no answers.

2) Rain boots

Today, and yesterday, it rained all day at Wake Forest. The umbrellas and North Face jackets were out in number, and so were the rain boots. You might be asking, "Jordan, what rain boots?" To which my response would be "THE rain boots". I don't know who makes these boots; maybe there is cool brand and not-so-cool brand and "Oh my gosh I've never even seen that brand but she's the only girl in class who's not wearing cool brand"-brand. Once again, I plead ignorance here.

But i do know this, the boots as far as I'm concerned come in two colors: loud lime green and not-so-pretty pink. I also believe the boots are a female cultural/fashion phenomenon. They might have more utility than Uggs, but they don't look any better...And they are taking my college by storm (pun intended).

Today, one of my suitmates made the following statement: "The rain boots" are literally the reason I hate it when it rains. I'm not going that far; I'm just raising a question.

I have a hypothesis, and it's probably politically incorrect. But I will state it nonetheless.

One day, some girl, somewhere, just decided that rain boots were cool and in fashion. She's a popular girl; people like her. Girl goes and buys rain boots, wears them to class the next day. The girls in her class see the boots and after thinking initially, "Those are kind of ugly and maybe a little obnox (abbreves)", she realizes it's cool girl that's wearing the boots.

Class ends. "Cool girl WHERE did you get those boots? LOVE them." "I got them at so-and-so store...aren't they uber-cute?" (Question: do they even know what uber means? Category: things I don't wish to understand. Back to the conversation, if you're still out there...)

"Yeah, girl. Totally love them" At this point, second coolest girl's afternoon agenda becomes "Get boots before next rainy day. Check forecast to see when next rainy day is. Next rainy day is tomorrow. Get boots tonight.)

She gets the boots, coolest girl is a little peeved but then kind of likes the fact that she's the trend-setter, trend is set, and the rest is history. Third-coolest girl gets boots, 4th coolest, yada. Off brands come out, off brands of that off brand come out, and they all look the same to casual observers like myself.

That's my hypothesis. I'm not trying to be anti-feminist; this article could have been written on Wallabies, or loud trucks, or Sambas--the Adidas indoor soccer shoes (I didn't play indoor soccer) that I seemingly couldn't live without in the 5th grade because all the cool guys had them.

I said the answers to my question might be able to point towards the human condition. We have an identity crisis, and we all want to fit in. It's that simple.

But there's something else that's pretty simple...Uggs just don't look that good.

Maybe I'll never understand.